Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby Andreys_Does_Simples » Tue May 05, 2009 10:21 pm

So this was it, the season defining game. Win this one and go on to play I the biggest footballing show piece of the year and the season is successful. Not many Gooners went into the game brimming with confidence after all last weeks game was a terribly disappointing affair and gave us little to shout about but I think confidence breeds confidence so I went with my head held high. Technically the end of that game was only half time and we had time on our side to over come a 1-0 deficit. But still 2 goals against them and keeping it tight at the back would take us through.

We lined up with last weeks hero, Manuel Almunia, taking up his usual place between the sticks. Gibbs, another hero of last week, on the left, Toure, Djourou and Sagna making up the back four. Across the middle we had Walcott on the right, with Song, Fabregas and Nasri completing the midfield. Upfront was Adebayor and a welcome return for Van Persie.

For the first 8 minutes the atmosphere inside the Grove was red hot. We were finding our feet and putting together some nice passing. A good bit of play down the left Gibbs fluffed his lines and his cross ended up nowhere. Still decent enough play in the opening stages.

Then disaster struck. A cross that looked easy enough to deal with was then gifted to Ji Sung Park after Gibbs slipped in the ball. After last weeks heroics I was expecting Almunia to get down and gobble it up like Hungry Hippos. Park put it in the next with a good finish. We were now on the hunt for three.

Three minutes later the world crumbled round us. After conceding a soft free kick to who else but Mr Gay UK, the northern poofcake, the manc whore, the guy everyone would love to punch square between the eyes, Ronaldo. The irritating little t**t then stuck it in to make it 2-0. Numb.

11 minutes in and it felt like it was over. It really was. We did nothing of note in the first half that I can recall. The heads of the players and fans were down and there was no-one out there willing to pick the game up and at least try to make a go of it. We were snuffed out with every attempted attack to be honest they put up a fight and we shit ourselves.

The second half was no better than the last or the previous two halves in Manchester. Eboue had come on for Gibbs which seriously worried me in two ways. I was hoping first of all it wasn’t because the kids confidence was in tatters, then hoping he wasn’t injured and finally hoping that Eboue wouldn’t end up being booed the last time he was seriously played out of position. The manner in which they took their third summed up the tie for me. After a Fabregas corner which as per usual resulted in nothing, Manure broke away after some nice trickery poofcake *spits*. A sweeping move which totally done us for pace. Hands up it was a great goal and one I’d have been wanking myself silly over had it been us.

By this time I just wanted to f**k off, phone up the PM of Laos and tell them I’d take that pregnant birds punishment and get shot for her. Then I decided maybe I’d be better phoning the bird up, scoring a bit of brown off her and curling up in a ball and bawling my eyes out.

We were absolutely nowhere until we were gifted a rather cheap penalty from the Italian ref who had lost the plot completely by this point. The Pers steps up and executes a brilliant penalty. Apparently the Laos firing squad are considering calling him up for his brilliance in the execution field. To be fair though I barely raised a smile when it went it. The tie was finished.

All in all the tie was lost in the first leg. A shoddy performance in Manchester man a lot of fans, and possibly some players, doubt we could go on and do it. We were desperately unlucky with conceding when we did but the better team wet through and yet again we are left wondering when the potential is going to be fulfilled.

Leading up to tonight I was almost sick with excitement, when I left I felt sick to the pit of my stomach with disappointment. It's sad when the best part of your night is trying to decide what the sniffer dog was doing. Apparently he dropped a big bag of hash there the other week and was trying to find it. Other unconfirmed reports it that it was Didier Dogbaar on a scouting mission. Sorry.

Hopefully the boys can pick themselves up and do us a favour by raping (copyright Alan Pardew) Chelski.

I really apologise for the shitness of this report but I just feel utterly numb to the core.
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby Reverend Gooner » Wed May 06, 2009 1:46 am

I didn't watch the second half and i didn't read this report. Nothing to do with you ADS as it would suck even if you wrote it in the tongue of the gods.

Thanks for doing it though
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby djaxster » Wed May 06, 2009 6:33 am

great job ADS, if only the boys could have aswell.
Sat and watched it all even texted mate to say here comes the comeback after the penalty...
Felt the same as you , all excited all day and then that in the first 11 minutes...
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby Gunner Down Under » Wed May 06, 2009 6:37 am

Watched the match, we played badly. that's all
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby absolutely_fabregas » Wed May 06, 2009 9:22 am

Ades_Dancin_Shoes wrote:Mr Gay UK, the northern poofcake, the manc whore, the guy everyone would love to punch square between the eyes, Ronaldo.

you should have kept going

his face when he was celebrating, i dont know if ive ever wanted to kill somebody so much in my life, and thats me being 100% genuine.

ok th dick is good.

but he lacks class, hes a f***ing self praising t**t, everygoal he scores his celebrations are just repulsive

henry had "im the big balls" celebrations, as did cantona, but they did it with a bit of style and class

this fuckface ronaldo, words cant describe my sheer unadulterated hatred and loathing of him
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby Andreys_Does_Simples » Wed May 06, 2009 9:38 am

Reverend Gooner wrote:I didn't watch the second half and i didn't read this report. Nothing to do with you ADS as it would suck even if you wrote it in the tongue of the gods.

Thanks for doing it though


I don't blame you mate, I nearly left so many times but calmed myself down and stayed til the death...which was almost met by my own death.

Ab Fab, I tried to keep going but I just got to the stage I wanted to smash his little f***ing face in. He really has no class at all which is why it is difficult for people to like him and even a lot of manure fans are turning on the little arse pube.
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby damo1583 » Wed May 06, 2009 9:40 am

ADS well done mate..........f**k me that was a hard game to watch let alone to re-live it for a report........I salute you sir!
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby I Could Replace Bergkamp » Wed May 06, 2009 9:55 am

Good report, summed it all up fairly.....hard game to watch!

I feel desperately sorry for Gibbs, if that slipped wouldn't have happened I think we could have been in for a really exciting game of football....whether we would have won who knows but it would have been much more of a specticle.
I hope Gibbs recovers quickly and hope he plays at the weekend and the fans cheer him more than they ever had. You could see how hard he took it, praise to RVP for going straight over to him after the goal to try and get his head back on the game!

Fingers crossed we keep our unbeaten run going until the end of the season and pip Chelsea to third :arsesmile:
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby She_Gunner_Wales » Wed May 06, 2009 10:40 am

damo1583 wrote:ADS well done mate..........f**k me that was a hard game to watch let alone to re-live it for a report........I salute you sir!


Echo that, Well done Alex, would have been a difficult report to write.
One single word you wrote sums up exactly how i feel today - NUMB.
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby singaporegooner » Wed May 06, 2009 1:08 pm

Reading the report was like watching a surgeon work on my gut with no anasthetic.
Excruciating pain.
But spot on mate.
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Re: Arsenal 1 - 3 Manure *hangs self*

Postby SE13 » Wed May 06, 2009 5:09 pm

Ah, so it wasn't just a bad dream then.

Cheers for writing it.
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