An Interview With...... Inchpractice

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An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby SE13 » Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:24 am

1] Your name:
Withheld for legal reasons.

2] Age: 35

3] Marital status: Depends who's asking... :sneaky2:
Living in sin I suppose.


4] Location: Denham Green, Bucks, UK.

5] Occupation: Self employed Visiting Tailor

6] A tailor, tell us a bit more about that:
It involves driving to people's offices and measuring them up for bespoke suits. The suits are then stitched together in a cramped basement under my house by 43 guatamalan refugees who are paid in scraps of dog food. When the suits are made I return to the client and do a fitting.

7] Why Arsenal: My Uncle took me to a game when I was about 10 and I was hooked. Been following the Arse ever since (the team not my Uncle).

8] Favourite food: Mashed potato and peanut butter (not together).

9] Favourite drink: Stella, Peroni, the usual crap.

10] Favourite holiday destination: So far probably Thailand but ask me again in December because I could be about to have a new one.

11] Tell us about a funny moment in your life: Oh God... there are so many, where to start... :think:

Whilst on holiday in the Far East my friend decided that we should hire a jeep and take the 2 girls we'd just met around the island. As I drove down the pot-holed dirt road of a high street the jeep was bouncing all over the place like a pogo stick.
One of the girls in the back said "Blimey! I should've put me balls* in!"

*Chinese balls


12] What would you be prepared to do in order to have an Arsenal season ticket for life:
For LIFE! f**k me that's a long time. Um...I'd be prepared to trade my missus in for it if anyone's interested...? She's blonde with green eyes, 25 and size 36C.

13] If you could meet anyone alive, who would it be and why: My first instinct is to say Stephen Fry but I'd be equally happy to meet Bill Bailey.

14] If you could meet someone from the past, who and why: John Bonham (Led Zep drummer) because he's probably my all time biggest idol.
I've worshipped him for years and copied all his best moves.


15] Who from this board would you most like to meet: Scottish Lass, obviously. Talk about a stupid question... :rolleyes:

16] If you won the lottery at the weekend, what would you do: Buy a massive f**k off house in Denham Village and a few TVRs, then buy a few houses round the world. Carribbean, Far East, New York, Italy etc. then advertise my business for 3 weeks straight on the front cover of the FT and possibly on telly too.
After that I might pay Abi Titmuss and Keeley Hazell to come round and cook mashed potato in the nude.


With thanks to Inch for doing this, I now leave the thread open for everyone else to ask a few questions. Anyone wishing to partake in this, please drop me a PM
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Please note that my comments are my own view, and not that of GoonersWorld. Everything I write is subject to © 2007-2013, and is my own work unless quoted otherwise.
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby arseman » Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:34 am

Do you measure fit ladies for suits? If so, do you grope them all over while at it? :sneaky:
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Inchpräctice » Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:41 am

arseman wrote:Do you measure fit ladies for suits? If so, do you grope them all over while at it? :sneaky:

I don't measure ladies these days. I'd love to but I haven't found tailors who can make ladies suits to a high enough standard.
I used to measure them when I was at Burberry though and it was good. The thing is when you measure a woman you have to take a measurement across the widest and most prominent part of their bust so it's almost hard not to grope them really.
That was the first time I measured women so I wasn't used to measuring jugs and I was all fingers and thumbs if you know what I mean.

I once got called to measure a woman in the City who said she needed to have a suit made because she was such an unusual shape.
When I got there I discovered that her 'unusual shape' was that she had a 28" waist and 40" breasts....! :sneaky2:
She was cute too so I really enjoyed measuring her. :cloud9:
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby arseman » Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:56 am

Inchpractice wrote:
arseman wrote:Do you measure fit ladies for suits? If so, do you grope them all over while at it? :sneaky:

I don't measure ladies these days. I'd love to but I haven't found tailors who can make ladies suits to a high enough standard.
I used to measure them when I was at Burberry though and it was good. The thing is when you measure a woman you have to take a measurement across the widest and most prominent part of their bust so it's almost hard not to grope them really.
That was the first time I measured women so I wasn't used to measuring jugs and I was all fingers and thumbs if you know what I mean.

I once got called to measure a woman in the City who said she needed to have a suit made because she was such an unusual shape.
When I got there I discovered that her 'unusual shape' was that she had a 28" waist and 40" breasts....! :sneaky2:
She was cute too so I really enjoyed measuring her. :cloud9:


I don't know how you managed to hold yourself back...in fact I don't know if you did :sneaky2:
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Inchpräctice » Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:58 am

I couldn't possibly comment.... ;)
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Gooner Girl » Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:29 am

Favourite book?

Favourite telly programme?

All time favourite Arsenal player?

Any pets?
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby gzagee » Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:25 pm

How much do you charge for your suits?

And would your missus be involved in the Abi/Hazell cook up?
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby damo1583 » Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:27 pm

gzagee wrote:How much do you charge for your suits?

And would your missus be involved in the Abi/Hazell cook up?


Too many cooks spoil the broth...........surely?
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Inchpräctice » Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:36 pm

Gooner Girl wrote:Favourite book?

Favourite telly programme?

All time favourite Arsenal player?

Any pets?

Book - King Rollo and the Bread
No, I dunno if I have a favourite because I never read a book twice but the one I'm reading now is pretty good. It's called 'Bob Marley - Lyrical genius' by Kwame Dawes and it's an in depth analysis of all of Bob's lyrics and the meaning behind them.
A fascinating insight into his life and the message behind the music. It means more when you understand what he's singing.

TV programme - at the moment there aint much on so I tend to watch Nevermind the Buzzcocks but as soon as Top Gear starts again I'll be rooted to the spot. Can't beat a bit of Top Gear.

Player - DB10 - breathtaking in every game. Why did he have to retire? :crybaby:

Pets - we have a cat called Hamlet. He's pictured somewhere in the Cats or Dogs thread I think....?

gzagee wrote:How much do you charge for your suits?

And would your missus be involved in the Abi/Hazell cook up?

The semi-bespoke suits start at about £600 - £700 although I never seem to sell any at that price!
The full bespoke ones start at £2100.

No my missus would not be involved in festivities - it's more of a 'day pass' type arrangement.
Superstars only on that day.
Although my missus would probably cook in the nude if asked, she's always open to suggestions.... ;)
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Libertine » Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:58 pm

Favourite Arsenal game you've attended?
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Inchpräctice » Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:26 pm

Libertine wrote:Favourite Arsenal game you've attended?


So many I don't know where to start... I loved the Leicester game at Filbert St. when DB10 scored a hat-trick in '97, the 7-0 spanking of Everton wasn't terrible either. More recently there was the home game against the Spuds when Bendtner scored the winner after half time with his thermo-nuclear header after 10 seconds on the pitch.
A tense game that ended in euphoria. :cloud9:
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Andreys_Does_Simples » Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:26 pm

Where about was you in Thailand?

And where are you going in December?

Also daddy or chips?
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Inchpräctice » Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:53 pm

Ades_Dancin_Shoes wrote:Where abouts was you in Thailand?

And where are you going in December?

Also daddy or chips?

I was in Thailand a few years before the tsunami and we started out on Phi Phi island which was stunning. It's where they filmed 'The Beach'.
After a few days me and this girl went on to a place called Reilly beach in Krabi, that was cool too. Beach huts for £2 a night!
Then we decided to cross right over to the other side of Thailand so we went to Kho Samui. Chaweng beach was awesome and the nightlife there was far better than anywhere else we'd been. That's where we met these 2 northern girls and it all started to get a bit messy!
I'm told there's a fuckin Starbucks in the high street there now. Damned shame. :disgust:

Incredible place. The most stunning beaches I've ever seen and delicious food for pennies.
Good nightlife, tropical weather and cheap beach huts. What more do you want?

In December we're off to Barbados. Never been to the Caribbean before so really looking forward to that. Most people I've spoken to about it say that Barbados is one of their favourite islands in the Caribbean. Can't wait. :P


Chips.
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby Andreys_Does_Simples » Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:12 pm

Ah yeah tourist Thailand is disgusting now mate, you don't wanna go there. mcDonalds, burger kings all round :(

Glad you go to Krabi, I spent some time in Ko Lanta there, did the emerald caves and stuff. Think me and Jen are headed there on honeymoon.

Enjoy Barbados mate! And nice choice on the chips :)

PS are you Nicky Bendtner dad? :lipssealed:
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Re: An Interview With...... Inchpractice

Postby TheLittleMozart » Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:32 pm

- So what is really your name then? ;)

- Can you do the rolex sweep?

- Faviourite film?
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