Juan Ramos was wearing his PVC gimp suit. The party had been in full swing for about an hour and Juan was delighted that he had been selected to be Lampards slave for the evening. The only draw back was carrying all of Franks food. “Christ, he is such a fat cow” Juan thought. Fatter than that big donkey Chinny Martin Jol.
At that point Ronaldo slid into the party on a pool of his own grease.
“Everyone bow to me” he demanded, “for I am the greatest human that ever lived!” he finished crowing with a flamboyant wink.
The stampede to kiss the greasy ones arse was led by Martin Tyler and Clive Tyldsley. This opportunity made both the sycophantic commentators feel it was there birthday.
“I saw it first you cow, I was there that night in Barcelona” shouted Clive as he elbowed Tyler in the eye.
“Hey boys” chuckled the greasy one “there is enough arse for you both to both to chew.”
“but do it quick before this poor slave is emancipated by the might force for good and freedom that is Real Madrid”
“Juan was fascinated by this scene, until Fat Frank nudged him. “Oi, gimp!” he spat through a mouth full of half chewed fried chicken “my troughs empty!” So Juan crawled back to the kitchen, the PVC shining with Lampard spit and Ronaldo grease. I love football he thought as he got on with loading his barrow….