Jens Lehmann

[TRA Dial Square]

LOL Google Chrome's translation is hilarious.

Our former international goalkeeper was sealed yesterday with a handshake a contract until the end of season at his old club Arsenal. And trained with the same.

Lehmann told Bild: "Arsenal currently has a goalkeeping crisis. Since I like to help out. Last week at Arsenal's Champions League-off in Barcelona , I was even a Sky expert still present when goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny injured his finger. I would not have occurred but in the dream that Arsenal would get me ... "

But Arsene Wenger, had played under the Lehmann five years (2003 to 2008) brings to the retirees from Germany.

Lehmann had to resign twice mittrainiert for fun at Arsenal and wanted to complete a coaching internship. Now he is back goalkeeper. First, for the bank. His old rival Manuel Almunia (Spain) is currently in goal.

Lehmann: "This time I'm looking forward to the role of the Bank will support Almunia. We can still win the title. "

Arsenal is second in the Premier League just three points behind leaders Manchester United . On 1 May's is in London for the blast. With Lehmann in goal?

[VCC]

He'll only play if Average Al gets injured.

I don't think so.

somebody stand on aluminiums foot in training please.

[Arsenal Tone]

@ManuelAlmunia

"Saw Jens at the training ground today. My spine shuddered when we made eye contact"

On twitter lol

[VCC]

@ManuelAlmunia

"Saw Jens at the training ground today. My spine shuddered when we made eye contact"

On twitter lol

He shudders at most strikers he see's

[singaporegooner]

@ManuelAlmunia

"Saw Jens at the training ground today. My penis shuddered when we made eye contact"

On twitter lol

Corrected.

[Leody]

@ManuelAlmunia

"Saw Jens at the training ground today. My spine shuddered when we made eye contact"

On twitter lol

Wtf does that even mean??? I hope something was lost in translation...

[ManicDefender]

Would be good to see Lehmann back, even if it is only for a few games. Never mind the mistakes he's made. Only way now is forward, especially if we want to win the PL this season...

Might put some much needed confidence into the squad...

[Popey]

almunia will still be in goal. jens will only play if almunia is injured.

[GunnGunn]

@ManuelAlmunia

"Saw Jens at the training ground today. My spine shuddered when we made eye contact"

On twitter lol

Smells like bullshit.

[ivan itchybum]

Wenger: Jens, thank you for coming.
Lehmann: Ha ha ha. Please. Call me Harry Pain.
Wenger: What?
Lehmann: Nothing. Continue speaking to me.
Wenger: Well, as you know, we are in dire need of another goalkeeper. And since you are available, you know Arsenal so well and every other available goalkeeper has mysteriously disappeared within the last 72 hours, we immediately thought of you.
Lehmann: Thank you, Mr. Wenger. Fabregas will surely cry tears of self-pity if I come back and tear the captain's armband from his weak child arm. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: Eh...actually, Jens, you would not return as the captain. You would return as a backup to Almunia.
Lehmann: Silly me. But that is just fine. I would experience giddy delight sitting on the bench and watching Almunia. Waiting for him to crumble under the pressure of my stare and covert practical jokes that will surely deteriorate his weak mind within a few days. If he wears glasses I will steal them! I will also impregnate his dog! Ha ha ha!
Wenger: No, Jens, please -- this brings me to my next point. If we do bring you back, you must promise to not act like a lunatic. Can you do that?
Lehmann: I don't understand what you are saying to me.
Wenger: You can't act like a person who is insane.
Lehmann: That combination of words does not make sense.
Wenger: You can't steal fans' eyeglasses outside the stadium. You can't urinate behind the advertisements during matches. You can't hide opponents' boots. You can't fight with the ball boys. You basically can't do anything that Jens Lehmann would do.
Lehmann: Ha ha ha! Of course not. Who do you think I am, Jens Lehmann? Gaze into my eyes and listen to me, Mr. Wenger. I am honored that you would consider bringing me back and I can assure you that with my help, Arsenal will beat Manchester United to the title and all of your other players will wet their beds out of eternal fear every night.
Wenger: I like the part about winning the title. I'm not sure about the bed-wetting part.
Lehmann: We can worry about that when it happens. Now. You must sign me.
Wenger: The way you're smiling at me makes me feel very uncomfortable, but you've made a number of excellent points. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong. Gunnersaurus will make a final decision soon.

[TRA Dial Square]

Wenger: Jens, thank you for coming.
Lehmann: Ha ha ha. Please. Call me Harry Pain.
Wenger: What?
Lehmann: Nothing. Continue speaking to me.
Wenger: Well, as you know, we are in dire need of another goalkeeper. And since you are available, you know Arsenal so well and every other available goalkeeper has mysteriously disappeared within the last 72 hours, we immediately thought of you.
Lehmann: Thank you, Mr. Wenger. Fabregas will surely cry tears of self-pity if I come back and tear the captain's armband from his weak child arm. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: Eh...actually, Jens, you would not return as the captain. You would return as a backup to Almunia.
Lehmann: Silly me. But that is just fine. I would experience giddy delight sitting on the bench and watching Almunia. Waiting for him to crumble under the pressure of my stare and covert practical jokes that will surely deteriorate his weak mind within a few days. If he wears glasses I will steal them! I will also impregnate his dog! Ha ha ha!
Wenger: No, Jens, please -- this brings me to my next point. If we do bring you back, you must promise to not act like a lunatic. Can you do that?
Lehmann: I don't understand what you are saying to me.
Wenger: You can't act like a person who is insane.
Lehmann: That combination of words does not make sense.
Wenger: You can't steal fans' eyeglasses outside the stadium. You can't urinate behind the advertisements during matches. You can't hide opponents' boots. You can't fight with the ball boys. You basically can't do anything that Jens Lehmann would do.
Lehmann: Ha ha ha! Of course not. Who do you think I am, Jens Lehmann? Gaze into my eyes and listen to me, Mr. Wenger. I am honored that you would consider bringing me back and I can assure you that with my help, Arsenal will beat Manchester United to the title and all of your other players will wet their beds out of eternal fear every night.
Wenger: I like the part about winning the title. I'm not sure about the bed-wetting part.
Lehmann: We can worry about that when it happens. Now. You must sign me.
Wenger: The way you're smiling at me makes me feel very uncomfortable, but you've made a number of excellent points. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong. Gunnersaurus will make a final decision soon.

[Inchpräctice]

@ManuelAlmunia

"Saw Jens at the training ground today. My spine shuddered when we made eye contact"

On twitter lol

Smells like bullshit.

It is, he isn't on Twitter.

Wenger: Jens, thank you for coming.
Lehmann: Ha ha ha. Please. Call me Harry Pain.
Wenger: What?
Lehmann: Nothing. Continue speaking to me.
Wenger: Well, as you know, we are in dire need of another goalkeeper. And since you are available, you know Arsenal so well and every other available goalkeeper has mysteriously disappeared within the last 72 hours, we immediately thought of you.
Lehmann: Thank you, Mr. Wenger. Fabregas will surely cry tears of self-pity if I come back and tear the captain's armband from his weak child arm. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: Eh...actually, Jens, you would not return as the captain. You would return as a backup to Almunia.
Lehmann: Silly me. But that is just fine. I would experience giddy delight sitting on the bench and watching Almunia. Waiting for him to crumble under the pressure of my stare and covert practical jokes that will surely deteriorate his weak mind within a few days. If he wears glasses I will steal them! I will also impregnate his dog! Ha ha ha!
Wenger: No, Jens, please -- this brings me to my next point. If we do bring you back, you must promise to not act like a lunatic. Can you do that?
Lehmann: I don't understand what you are saying to me.
Wenger: You can't act like a person who is insane.
Lehmann: That combination of words does not make sense.
Wenger: You can't steal fans' eyeglasses outside the stadium. You can't urinate behind the advertisements during matches. You can't hide opponents' boots. You can't fight with the ball boys. You basically can't do anything that Jens Lehmann would do.
Lehmann: Ha ha ha! Of course not. Who do you think I am, Jens Lehmann? Gaze into my eyes and listen to me, Mr. Wenger. I am honored that you would consider bringing me back and I can assure you that with my help, Arsenal will beat Manchester United to the title and all of your other players will wet their beds out of eternal fear every night.
Wenger: I like the part about winning the title. I'm not sure about the bed-wetting part.
Lehmann: We can worry about that when it happens. Now. You must sign me.
Wenger: The way you're smiling at me makes me feel very uncomfortable, but you've made a number of excellent points. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong. Gunnersaurus will make a final decision soon.

[Est83]

F**KING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

[FrustratedGooner]

i just wet my bed...

[VCC]

Wenger: Jens, thank you for coming.
Lehmann: Ha ha ha. Please. Call me Harry Pain.
Wenger: What?
Lehmann: Nothing. Continue speaking to me.
Wenger: Well, as you know, we are in dire need of another goalkeeper. And since you are available, you know Arsenal so well and every other available goalkeeper has mysteriously disappeared within the last 72 hours, we immediately thought of you.
Lehmann: Thank you, Mr. Wenger. Fabregas will surely cry tears of self-pity if I come back and tear the captain's armband from his weak child arm. Ha ha ha!
Wenger: Eh...actually, Jens, you would not return as the captain. You would return as a backup to Almunia.
Lehmann: Silly me. But that is just fine. I would experience giddy delight sitting on the bench and watching Almunia. Waiting for him to crumble under the pressure of my stare and covert practical jokes that will surely deteriorate his weak mind within a few days. If he wears glasses I will steal them! I will also impregnate his dog! Ha ha ha!
Wenger: No, Jens, please -- this brings me to my next point. If we do bring you back, you must promise to not act like a lunatic. Can you do that?
Lehmann: I don't understand what you are saying to me.
Wenger: You can't act like a person who is insane.
Lehmann: That combination of words does not make sense.
Wenger: You can't steal fans' eyeglasses outside the stadium. You can't urinate behind the advertisements during matches. You can't hide opponents' boots. You can't fight with the ball boys. You basically can't do anything that Jens Lehmann would do.
Lehmann: Ha ha ha! Of course not. Who do you think I am, Jens Lehmann? Gaze into my eyes and listen to me, Mr. Wenger. I am honored that you would consider bringing me back and I can assure you that with my help, Arsenal will beat Manchester United to the title and all of your other players will wet their beds out of eternal fear every night.
Wenger: I like the part about winning the title. I'm not sure about the bed-wetting part.
Lehmann: We can worry about that when it happens. Now. You must sign me.
Wenger: The way you're smiling at me makes me feel very uncomfortable, but you've made a number of excellent points. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong. Gunnersaurus will make a final decision soon.