Goonersworld

With the great manager of Arsenal set to terminate his contract with his wife... And all the news that drums into the Entertainment pages about celebrity divorces, along with divorce rates spiralling upwards, where does marriage stand for you?

Is it an obsolete social institution? Marriages were a big part of people's lives before the industrial revolution and during times, when two people needed to labor hard to live their lives adequately. It provided security for both men and women, and also helped form/bolster communities/continue lineages.

Today, with live-in relationships becoming predominant, do you think marriages are no longer necessary? The communal aspect has declined since the world became a "global village."

If you look at it, every other person is getting divorced these days. It's also the case where two people simply get sick of each other and want change. Marriages that lasted 20 years or even 30 years have become a rarity. It still exists and will, but the trend is waning.

Is marriage still sacred for you, or does it merely serve a utility function? Do you think, "Till death do us part," is still relevant or is it a myth?

Angelito wrote:With the great manager of Arsenal set to terminate his contract with his wife...

Okay, first off, this line is simply TOO AWESOME.

Further, when it comes down to marriage in todays world, personally, I think it's unnecessary.
I have seen more than a dozen people that had good and healthy relationships, and were pushed into marriage by their parents / friends and ultimately ended up miserable once they got married - and it usually ended with divorce.

Ofcourse, that isn't always the case, but still it happens quite a lot.
Ofcourse, being under the married status has certain advantages for couples, but with the increasing benefits that non married couples get nowadays (you can already do that in France) getting married isn't important for that anymore.

I think that if people need to be sure of the choice to get married, think about all the angles and then do it if they are ready.
I for one am not thinking about doing it anytime soon. And even IF I do it - since I'm an atheist - I'll just elope.

I personally don't care about marriage. I think it's an outdated institution. I can't see myself ever getting married; I mean, I want to eventually, but it's just so damn hard to picture myself with only one other person for the rest of my life with a 'contract' with the government.

The only benefits of marriage nowadays seem to be tax related.

The whole concept of "put a ring on it" is so weird to me. Like you have to have a ring on your finger to signify that you 'belong' to someone else. Wtf? If I ever get married, I personally won't wear a ring. I hate the feeling of something on my fingers; I've never been a ring person.

But yeah, I don't see where marriage helps in terms of kids. What difference does it make whether or not the parents are married as long as the parents remain together?

Agree with both of you.

What's amazing is if marriage as an institution dissolved, at least in the developed countries, we wouldn't be having these marital problems that hinders kids from a very young age. It becomes mutual responsibility to ensure a proper psychological development of the child too instead of having to explain what a divorce is to a child.

Those who want to live together, do so. You don't need an institution to validate your togetherness. Love is free, marriage is a burden. At least, for me.

I know in many "traditional" societies living together before marriage is still shunned. Doesn't make sense to me. The glamorization of marriages from fairy tales to religion to legends are obviously some of the reasons. But with time, I think we have to move away from a repressive institution to a liberal, open-minded freedom.

When I hear old chaps say, "Marry your best friend," well, why marry? Why not just be together instead of involving the state?

I think marriage reduces humans to entities. My wife, my husband... The emphasis is on the my part. In previous centuries, wearing a ring in some cultures, and necklaces in other cultures was a symbolic message that somebody was married, so you couldn't approach then. Today, with divorces becoming breakfast news, the whole mentality of possession is outdated and quite frankly, inhuman.

People have choices today - more so than ever in history. Previously, marriage meant responsibility of the other. In most cultures, the wife was the husband's responsibility. Not so today. People grow tired of one another. They need breaks, or sometimes - they just move away to the other side. It's human nature. What can we do?

Marriage provides a safe cornerstone for two people to come together and raise children. We see too many times nowadays when bastards (and i'm using that in the legal sense) are born and one parent leaves the other alone which causes stress for both. Marriage provides security and a chance for children to have the best start in life when their mother and father are married.

I get it.

Not for me.

Booty calls >

Marriage became obsolete when it became about finding 'ever lasting love'. If your main motive for marrying someone is because you love them then it wont work out in the long run

Getting married in November. Not really fussed tbh. Doubt it'll change me.

Wenger's wife to Wenger:

"WENGER, OUT"

I guess the transfer window has finally opened up for Wenger

Royal Gooner wrote:Marriage provides a safe cornerstone for two people to come together and raise children. We see too many times nowadays when bastards (and i'm using that in the legal sense) are born and one parent leaves the other alone which causes stress for both. Marriage provides security and a chance for children to have the best start in life when their mother and father are married.

But you don't need a piece of paper in order to have a family and raise children within a family structure. Also statistics show (in the US), that the majority of marriages end in divorce. So marriages are basically pointless, it's just a way for the Govt to control you and generate money for society. Marriage doesn't mean that you'll have a perfect family, or that you love someone more, or that your kids will be raised right. If you think a piece of paper certifies your love for someone, then you probably didn't or don't really love them to begin with. by the time you agree to marry someone, then you should already love them as much as possible.

I agree with the above posters, it's pointless and only makes it harder to get out of a relationship. I think society would benefit from a little empathy on relationships and understand that monogamy isn't natural. This is why so many relationships fail. Because people have this hollywood fairytale image of marriage and relationships that really isn't realistic. We all crave relationships, but we crave more than just one, from many different people. Which is why we have different relationships with friends and with family, not all relationships are sexual obviously, and a sexual one really isn't any different. Sex is just an instinct that we all have, it's how we reproduce and keep the species alive. We all want to hump as much possible, but people not controlling those urges and not getting what they want out of their different relationships is why some fail and why some cheat. Plus many people just aren't honest with themselves nor their partners when it comes to relationships. Having said all of that, even though monogamy isn't natural it could still work if folks just had a bit more empathy and honesty about it all. But marriage isn't needed.

Royal Gooner wrote:Marriage provides a safe cornerstone for two people to come together and raise children. We see too many times nowadays when bastards (and i'm using that in the legal sense) are born and one parent leaves the other alone which causes stress for both. Marriage provides security and a chance for children to have the best start in life when their mother and father are married.

How?

Other than tax reasons, how is marriage different from a lifelong monogamous relationship?

StLGooner wrote:
I agree with the above posters, it's pointless and only makes it harder to get out of a relationship.

That is kinda the point.

Apollo wrote:

StLGooner wrote:
I agree with the above posters, it's pointless and only makes it harder to get out of a relationship.

That is kinda the point.

And it shouldn't be hard to get out of a relationship.