Standing up or sitting down?

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Standing up or sitting down?

Standing up
14
44%
Sitting down
18
56%
 
Total votes : 32

Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Callum » Thu Sep 10, 2015 10:31 am

You're both morons.

When you're sat your legs are spread more so there is easier access to your arsehole, but when you're standing you're cheeks are closer together. Far greater chance of getting crap spread around yourself.
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Git » Thu Sep 10, 2015 11:21 am

I put my legs on the wall and hover like I'm doing the splits.

WHOSE ARSEHOLE IS MORE SPREAD NOW?
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Git » Thu Sep 10, 2015 11:22 am

Can honestly say that I've never managed to spread shit around myself. Maybe it's because I don't turn into a quivering mess when I touch my own arse? ;)
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby AAIRE99 » Thu Sep 10, 2015 7:05 pm

both are extremely painful with a slip disc , sitting once seated is where its at with a slipped disc.
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Dejan » Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:21 pm

Callum wrote:You're both morons.

When you're sat your legs are spread more so there is easier access to your arsehole, but when you're standing you're cheeks are closer together. Far greater chance of getting crap spread around yourself.


im swoll as f**k and my ass is huge, so sitting is absolutely a no go.

lol @ sitting down
Rest in Peace SE13 :(


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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Schlandi » Thu Sep 10, 2015 10:01 pm

Git wrote:Easier to see if you're still dirty or clean when you stand up too.


Don't agree
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#GoonersWorldExcuses
- Their goalkeerper had the game of his life
- We should have had 10+ penalties .. shit ref
- If long term injured player xyz would have been available we would have won easily
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby UFGN » Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:01 am

I refuse to believe that 38% of people are utter barbarians

This is shocking, I was happier when I was blissfully unaware
Oh he is awful..... but I like him!
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Git » Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:45 am

SchlandGooner wrote:
Git wrote:Easier to see if you're still dirty or clean when you stand up too.


Don't agree
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If I could do that I wouldn't be thinking about the things I could do with my arse.

Blow job city.
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Est83 » Fri Sep 11, 2015 11:18 am

Git is killing this thread!!!!!! :rofll:

If only there were stories, it could rival the 'ever shit yourself' thread.
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Est83 » Fri Sep 11, 2015 11:20 am

Mods, could my vote be changed please. I explained earlier that I voted thinking it was something to do with stadiums :hiding:

I sit down and wipe with neatly folded paper :thumbsup:
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby whee » Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:18 pm

I sit, I dump, I flush (not many choose to flush at this point) I mop, I fold, I mop, I dispose, I flush (and brush if required) I stand, I dress, I put seat and lid down, I wash hands, rinse, dry and depart.

There's nothing more to it. Some of you people need to take a seriously long look in the mirror at yourselves.

Only in desperate circumstances have I ever deviated from the above routine. While on holiday during the summer, a tour of Europe in a wanky campervan, I arrived at a campsite in a backwards, slightly dirty, dingey little country called France. These barbaric, 18th century throwbacks didn't think a toilet seat was necessary on the communal throne. Well, without a seat it's not so much a throne as a frame. I looked at this pan, pondered momentarily how I was going to go about my business. I'd left it late, and finding another trap was simply out of the question. I pulled down my shreddies, hovered my arse over the seatless pan below, and fired a few chunks into the watery abyss. I flushed, as part of my routine, and then reached for the paper. Single-Ply, single sheets. For all the good they were going to do, I may as well have put them over the graffiti and done some f***ing tracing. The smearing was a predictable issue, countered by a good firm wipe and a reverse wipe back against the grain. All done from a squatting position, cheeks spread with a solid posture holding a good lean.

I'm not a fan of squatting, you can become a little off balance mid-mop. I didn't get dirty or wet, but it could've easily become brutal.
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby 22-0 » Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:28 pm

whee wrote:I sit, I dump, I flush (not many choose to flush at this point) I mop, I fold, I mop, I dispose, I flush (and brush if required) I stand, I dress, I put seat and lid down, I wash hands, rinse, dry and depart.

There's nothing more to it. Some of you people need to take a seriously long look in the mirror at yourselves.

Only in desperate circumstances have I ever deviated from the above routine. While on holiday during the summer, a tour of Europe in a wanky campervan, I arrived at a campsite in a backwards, slightly dirty, dingey little country called France. These barbaric, 18th century throwbacks didn't think a toilet seat was necessary on the communal throne. Well, without a seat it's not so much a throne as a frame. I looked at this pan, pondered momentarily how I was going to go about my business. I'd left it late, and finding another trap was simply out of the question. I pulled down my shreddies, hovered my arse over the seatless pan below, and fired a few chunks into the watery abyss. I flushed, as part of my routine, and then reached for the paper. Single-Ply, single sheets. For all the good they were going to do, I may as well have put them over the graffiti and done some f***ing tracing. The smearing was a predictable issue, countered by a good firm wipe and a reverse wipe back against the grain. All done from a squatting position, cheeks spread with a solid posture holding a good lean.

I'm not a fan of squatting, you can become a little off balance mid-mop. I didn't get dirty or wet, but it could've easily become brutal.



you flush twice? wow you might as well go to africa and laugh at the poor kids there.
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Est83 » Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:32 pm

^ Lol.

Plus, don't you get splash back all over your balls when you flush when sitting... or do you like that? :sneaky2:
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby Est83 » Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:33 pm

People who stand, question: do you have to pull a cheek (in order to spread a little) with your non wiping hand?
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Re: Standing up or sitting down?

Postby whee » Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:36 pm

22-0 wrote:
whee wrote:I sit, I dump, I flush (not many choose to flush at this point) I mop, I fold, I mop, I dispose, I flush (and brush if required) I stand, I dress, I put seat and lid down, I wash hands, rinse, dry and depart.

There's nothing more to it. Some of you people need to take a seriously long look in the mirror at yourselves.

Only in desperate circumstances have I ever deviated from the above routine. While on holiday during the summer, a tour of Europe in a wanky campervan, I arrived at a campsite in a backwards, slightly dirty, dingey little country called France. These barbaric, 18th century throwbacks didn't think a toilet seat was necessary on the communal throne. Well, without a seat it's not so much a throne as a frame. I looked at this pan, pondered momentarily how I was going to go about my business. I'd left it late, and finding another trap was simply out of the question. I pulled down my shreddies, hovered my arse over the seatless pan below, and fired a few chunks into the watery abyss. I flushed, as part of my routine, and then reached for the paper. Single-Ply, single sheets. For all the good they were going to do, I may as well have put them over the graffiti and done some f***ing tracing. The smearing was a predictable issue, countered by a good firm wipe and a reverse wipe back against the grain. All done from a squatting position, cheeks spread with a solid posture holding a good lean.

I'm not a fan of squatting, you can become a little off balance mid-mop. I didn't get dirty or wet, but it could've easily become brutal.



you flush twice? wow you might as well go to africa and laugh at the poor kids there.


Why would I want to sit there with the smell of shit filling my nostrils, when I can flush and then enjoy mopping.

My bellend gets wet when I stand up and piss, due to the impressive length of the thing. I'm hardly going to be surprised with a bit of splash back to the testes when I flush.
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