Trina
Much as we would like to throw a blanket over everyone we care for and make sure they are alright it is impossible to give everyone a smooth path thru life
I have been very lucky not to suffer the black dog of depression and have had nothing worse than being a bit miz from time to time
I can't trivialise what you have been thru or give you some pat message but only offer some encouragement from others I have known who do suffer from a similar plight
Don't beat yourself up about what you didn't do and thnk of all you have done to improve and help others
I bet you have a lot more in the plus column than the minus