The depression thread

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The depression thread

Postby Trina » Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:16 pm

This may not work, but if it helps anyone it's a good thing!

I've read through the committing suicide thread tonight and things in the papers of late.

Depression is a very powerful emotion that can take over you. I've had it in the past and I know quite a few of you have done aswell. We have lost members because of it too.

This thread is to...well say anything you want to about it. Depression is a serious illness. Sometimes it's easier to type it out, speak to people you don't know etc or ask for advice.

Don't be afraid to be the first to post!
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Youngie » Sat Sep 27, 2014 12:57 am

Great idea.

I suffered with depression for a long time over analyzing things and from time to time still have a blip, feeling like i was stuck in a bubble of self perpetuated hate. Exercise a good diet and a healthy routine seems to have worked for me. I think in this day and age its really hard to talk to friends or family about stress and depression, there is so much pressure heaped on a people in our modern culture, people loose sight of whats important in life and how to develop true self worth. I think the facebook/twitter/iphone situation doesn't help either, again its just another gateway for the stresses to manifest itself. Kids these days cant be kids they don't have time to be, you've got little girls growing up to fast looking up to glamour models, wags and other dregs of society and nobody seems to care. Life to many is more about a front instead of whats important, there seems to be a taboo about knowing the real self.

Until we start actively improving our own and the people around us lifestyles, i fee its only going to get worse. Depression at the end of the day is down to the individual but society does have its part to play.
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Trina » Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:05 pm

I find some people who don't understand depression, act and tell you to wake up and get on with it. It isn't that simple though. Which is why sometimes it hard to talk to close ones when they don't understand.

You are so right about girls too. My daughter is 15 and sometimes I have to give her a kick up the backside down to earth. Tell her what great qualities she has, how she doesn't need to change for a boy etc etc.
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Cripps » Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:06 pm

Hi my name is Cripps.
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Kyle? » Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:09 pm

I get the feeling i'll be posting in here next sunday...
Fatal Descent
Spinning around
I've gone too far
To turn back round

Desperate attempt
Stop the progression
At any length
Lift this obsession



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Re: The depression thread

Postby UFGN » Sat Sep 27, 2014 11:30 pm

One if the problems that I think people have with beating it is that its not always there.....

For me its been a weird experience. Something which is so powerful that it can make you question whether you want to live another day, can a few weeks later feel a million miles away. And when its not rearing its ugly head, and everything's fine, the instinct is to ignore it. Its not cool, it cramps your style to acknowledge it.

So, to use a medical analogy, you have a lot of people like me who never 'finish the course of antibiotics'. You don't finish the job and get better once and for all.

I would add that medical care for people with depression is shocking. In all my efforts over the years to access treatment, I have been treated with varying degrees of indifference and even mild hostility by so called medical professionals. You are viewed as something for which a risk assessment needs to be carried out, rather than as a patient who needs care. If they tick all your boxes and you aren't deemed a suicide risk, then they couldn't give a f**k. It seems to me that you have to be very seriously ill to get any prolonged treatment on the NHS. There is either a lack of willingness, of lack of ability, to offer any meaningful treatment for people with depression unless they are full on bonkers with it.
Corinthians 15:57; But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus

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Re: The depression thread

Postby VCC » Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:23 am

i don't think there is a cure it is about working hard to find the triggers that spiral you down further and further and networking around those triggers so you can recognise and seek what works for yourself to stay well that is my experience of it ..................................................................it effects 1 in 5 people here huge statistic
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Trina » Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:00 pm

VCC wrote:i don't think there is a cure it is about working hard to find the triggers that spiral you down further and further and networking around those triggers so you can recognise and seek what works for yourself to stay well that is my experience of it ..................................................................it effects 1 in 5 people here huge statistic


I read UFGN post the other day and put off my reply as I knew it would be long. But your post hits the point for me.

I've had it a lot since my daughter was born 15 years ago. A few times really bad. What confuses me is why I haven't had it the last few years after everything I've been through. And not even the last few years, the last 4 months. From having a gorgeous baby girl 2 years ago, I went to cancer for a year and then losing 6 family and friends this year. 2 funerals in a week...only because I couldn't face the 3rd in a week.

And yet I still feel like I'm waiting for it to hit me..feel like I have done before.
This is the depression thread...what I really feel like is I'm waiting for something to go wrong, for me to lose someone even closer than I already have. I keep having bad feelings like something is going to happen.

I don't know, probably because all I seem to see is death.

This is what I mean about UFGN post and the help. My doctor refered me to a Councillor as they don't understand why my blood pressure is high for my age. Tests so far have come back fine. Anyway I had the interview on the phone, my God they go through everything! But it helped. I got so much off my chest about how I felt, things that had happened, even things from when i was younger that affected me now. I felt such a relief when I came off the phone and was looking forward to talking to someone about it all.

You know what they suggested when they rang back a few weeks later? Firstly talking in a group about worrying too much....my reply was I don't want to talk to a bunch of strangers about my cancer and how everyone I know who has had it, has got it back and died! Which is something I've never told anyone but her on the phone and now you lot lol. But that was only a part of what I said in the interview.

So her next suggestion was....read this leaflet we send out. :rolleyes:
For me to speak to someone she said I would be looking at 3 months at least waiting time, which I said fine, I wanted to.

But I know why I couldn't get seen sooner. It was because I'm no threat. They ask certain questions. And because I made it clear I love my kids, family and don't want to hurt myself or anyone. I ain't important.

Sorry, I said it would be a long post and after re-reading...yeah a bit personal too.

Edit: You know what, maybe if they actually deal with it earlier, there would be less people feeling suicidal and dealing with stronger bouts of depression.
(not talking about me btw :) )
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Vinny » Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:25 pm

But extremely brave Trina.
You seem to have gone through so much in such a short time.

I would echo what UFGN said in relation to available help from medical professionals.
Unfortunately mental health/illness/distress is not something where one size fits all. I could bore you with the medical model and trying to replicate it through diagnosis and doctors trying to correct a chemical imbalance that has no foundation in science but I won't

All I will say is for my journey, until I took control myself and accept where I was, the depression was winning.
I went searching, for help, for information, for education, for anything that I thought may help me and not just rely on a gp handing out happy pills.
This was huge for me, as life had come easy, but until I suffered a couple of serious traumas, I thought mental distress was something for others to experience, and certainly something I would never admit to.

I tried everything I could find Trina, and decided not to let a GP just give me pill and take ownership myself. For a guy born on a housing estate in working class Dublin, I found myself meditating, practicing mindfulness, Tai Chi on the beach, to counselling (I was lucky enough to click with a fantastic counsellor) etc etc.

The one thing I have learnt thru all the interaction, volunteering, advocating for people in institutions, third level courses etc is it is highly individual and the person Always knows whats right for them when it comes to their treatment. They may need some advice on medication, physical ailments, like your blood pressure, but there is a plethora of treatments for mental healthl. It is such an individual ailment that its virtually impossible for a medical professional to get it right, and in an industry so dominated by the Pharmaceutical Industry, I find a lot of them untrustworthy. Thankfully there is a move away from the medical model and the need to diagnose, towards a more holistic approach to treatments where people are given choices.

I wouldn't be waiting another 3 months for some underpaid bureaucrat to get back to you.
Its your life and the good news is, You always have a choice.
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Re: The depression thread

Postby VCC » Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:01 am

thoughts are with you Trina and I feel privaliged as most will here that you have shared your fears.......................................I cant believe how lucky we are here we don't have any wait for any kind of mental health services......................................I started counciling when I was 18 I am now 50 side of 40 and have still had counciling just a couple of years ago I have been diagnosed with PTSD it took me years to be able to get close to sharing much of my past .............................I tip my hat to any and all that take the huge step in bravery sharing with strangers your fears........................................strangest thing when I was 18 and started counciling I couldn't talk to the guy I thought he was an absolute tool after years of counciling with many councillors I ended up back with the same guy I started with and hit it off I suppose I was finally ready
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Re: The depression thread

Postby JordanTheGunner » Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:40 am

Apologies if anyone finds this a strange question but as I am (quite) young I feel I have everything to look forward to (bad and good stuff).

Is depression something that creeps up on you slowly, or is it an imminent thing? And is there ways of uncovering it or is it something that if you have, you 100% know about it?
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Vinny » Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:26 pm

JordanTheGunner wrote:Apologies if anyone finds this a strange question but as I am (quite) young I feel I have everything to look forward to (bad and good stuff).

Is depression something that creeps up on you slowly, or is it an imminent thing? And is there ways of uncovering it or is it something that if you have, you 100% know about it?


Can only speak for myself Jordan.
It crept up on me, slowly but surely.
A couple of serious traumas happened me, and life suddenly got tougher.
Had no education nor the werewithall to handle them.
At the time I was stressed to f**k as I had just started my own business and was ploughing ahead working every hour I could.
Self care was something I knew nothing about, as life had come easy, and for the first time in my life I was faced with something I could not handle.

I began to read up on depression and self diagnosed. My concentration levels were shot to shit, my sleep was non existent, and my stress levels were through the roof.
My biggest mistake was I let pride stop me from asking for help.
My attitude was, I'm a man, men don't talk about their feelings, I can beat this.

That led me to a bottle of whiskey and 5 packs of paracetemal one night, and I just broke down and cried for the night without touching them, thankfully.
The following morning I went to the gp and asked for help, and have not looked back since.

I should have gone and asked for help sooner.
People don't because its a mental illness, but if there was something wrong with us physically, we would not hesitate to ask for help.
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Trina » Fri Oct 17, 2014 11:13 pm

Well said Vinny and it's good to see honesty. It's brave to do so and I hope your in a better place now :)


@ Jordon. Everyone is different, it affects you in different ways. My parents recognized it first when I was younger. Then as I got older I recognized it myself.

The self diagnosis like Vinny said is a good thing.

I'm getting worried I'm going down that path again. I had the flashing lights in my eyes last week which I haven't had since the docs gave me these tablets 8 months or so ago.

I should of gone to a funeral but I just couldn't. I've even lost count now of how many people i've lost this year. It's 7 or 8. But I won't count or think about each one.

Anyway, back to my doctor...after blood tests, kidney scan, he now wants me to see a heart specialist and add to my medication. The surgery rang me yesterday to say my doctor wanted a phone app on Monday with me, have no idea what about though. Is there any wonder my blood pressure wont go down!

I've been really bad this week though. My temper has been terrible, more than terrible.
I'm hoping a break next weekend will help.
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Trina » Thu Jun 25, 2015 11:39 pm

I came to this thread because of the guilt ive felt for a long time.

After reading it again after all this time, I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.

The funeral I should of gone to...was an old school friend. He sent me a message on fb, talking a lot of rubbish but regretting the past and talking like he was high to be honest, he apologized for things between me and him when we was younger...but that was around 18 years ago. I always tried to give him advice when we was younger. His parents never give a crap and he could stay out till he wanted. I read it and thought i would reply the next day.

Home life changed, we lost my chaps dad and Gran within a week!. Sorted the funerals etc...then I found out he had killed himself..and his funeral was around that time so I missed it.

I should of said something, anything might of stopped him. But I didn't say a word because I was too wrapped up in my own world.
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Re: The depression thread

Postby Va-Va-Voom » Fri Jun 26, 2015 2:32 am

At least you got it off your chest, now.

Regret is the hardest thing to live with; it gnaws at you forever, but you have to try to forgive yourself and move forward.
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