Ever shit yourself before?

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Ever shit yourself before?

Postby ivan itchybum » Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:15 pm

Ive never ever done it before, until yesterday.

Got off the bus. Had a very heavy one the night before. Stupidly got a mcdonalds for breakfast.

Burped and then thought SHIT im going to chuck this up. I did straight into the mcdonalds paper bag, which then split.

Could things get any worse? Was about 5 mins from the house and suddenly my stomach started to rumble. Started to walk like john wayne as I desperately held it in.

Got into the back garden and could last any longer. so found an open black bag and literally anialated it.

Digusting, felt quite ashamed
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby shamrock11 » Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:18 pm

ok lol
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Dejan » Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:36 pm

lmao dude wtf
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Swan » Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:52 pm

i used to laugh at friends about that until one day i sharted now i don't...
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Reverend Gooner » Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:22 pm

Lol

I nearly did on the bus last month, I had to jump off 2 stops early and sprint to Pizza Express like I have never sprinted before. The stairs to their toilet is right next to the door so there was no chance of being stopped.
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ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Git » Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:06 pm

When I was 6 on the sponsored walk.

Devastating.
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Fabrestuta » Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:21 pm

Lol tell the truth Git, it was last week.
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Zedie » Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:22 pm

This thread is epic lol
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Fabrestuta » Sun Mar 27, 2011 8:24 pm

About 6/7 months ago I got a terrible stomach bug and had a dose like you wouldn't believe (no alcohol or food from a van involved).
For about 24 hours I had the horrible stomach cramps followed by mad dashes to the loo and pissing through your arse, the kind of dose your arse is like a blood orange and even the softest toilet paper will make you wince.
Well in bed I farted and touched cloth before I could leggit (its basically just brown water at that stage). Got to the toilet, peed shit then had to get in the shower at 3am, while in the shower I got cramps and had to move to the loo again. Lady Fab sleeps well well and had no idea about my nightly adventure, which is probably a good thing.

Will never forget that. A bad dose is one of the worst things in the world.
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby CynicalGooner » Mon Mar 28, 2011 5:36 am

When I was 11 or 12 I held a shit in all day as I was never gonna use the school toilets. It got worse and worse and by the time I was walking home it felt like I was dying. Got home and unleashed about a gallon of diarrhoea. Ended up being really ill and was off school for a week or 2. Moral of the story... dont hold it in
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Est83 » Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:12 am

This thread is great!
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ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Git » Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:33 pm

Holding it in can be good.

I did that in year 7. Stomach was in agony. Got sent home and had a poo and I felt fantastic.

Afternoon off school, result!
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby dj_jonty_uk » Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:42 pm

I've shat myself twice......but not any of these stories where i just made it to a toilet, i mean properly shat myself. Literally had poo inside my boxers, squelching around until i could get to a place to unload and clean up. Never trust a fart! Once was just before i went to see the Chemical Brothers too, so i can't listen to their music without thinking of that fateful day! The other was just on a night out. Too much booze etc the night before was the common factor in both cases. Bloody sharts!
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby StLGooner » Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:46 pm

Is that why you have an itchybum?
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Re: ever shit yourself before ?

Postby Est83 » Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:08 pm

dj_jonty_uk wrote:I've shat myself twice......but not any of these stories where i just made it to a toilet, i mean properly shat myself. Literally had poo inside my boxers, squelching around until i could get to a place to unload and clean up. Never trust a fart! Once was just before i went to see the Chemical Brothers too, so i can't listen to their music without thinking of that fateful day! The other was just on a night out. Too much booze etc the night before was the common factor in both cases. Bloody sharts!


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Were these wise old words from your grandad? "Boy! I'll give you some very simple advice. Never trust Germans, women or farts! Live by that and you'll do alright in life!"
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