The random joke thread

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The random joke thread

Postby Fordy » Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:11 pm

Ill put this here for you to post any jokes.

you can post jokes you here that day or jokes you have read or just old jokes you like.

If you have a really good joke still feel free to make a new thread for it.
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Postby Fordy » Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:18 pm

A english man a french man and a american are walking down a beach when they find a magic lamp.

They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them all one wish each.

The american goes first and says "this is easy i want a pick up truck made of gold" your wish is my command and the truck appears.

The french man goes next and says "i want 30 ft wall building round france to stop the english getting in i hate them" your wish is my command and the wall is built.

The english man goes next "tell me about this wall" so the gene tells him its 30ft high and no one gets in and no one gets out.

"right" says the englishman "my wish is fill the c*** with water"
Last edited by Fordy on Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Trina » Tue Aug 21, 2007 8:14 pm

Some old knock knock jokes for ya :lol:

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Yoda!
Yoda who?
Yoda leh ee-hoooo!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
You.
You who?
You who, is anybody in?


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken I come in, it's freezing out here?


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Quacker.
Quacker who?
Quacker another bad knock-knock joke and I'm leaving!

:oops: :P
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Postby absolutely_fabregas » Tue Aug 21, 2007 8:22 pm

an 86 year old woman is staring in bemusement at a cash machine, and turns behind her for help and asks the man

"could you help me check my balance dear?"

the man replies "yeah sure, love"

and pushes her over





:lol:
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Postby Trina » Tue Aug 21, 2007 8:23 pm

absolutely_fabregas wrote:an 86 year old woman is staring in bemusement at a cash machine, and turns behind her for help and asks the man

"could you help me check my balance dear?"

the man replies "yeah sure, love"

and pushes her over





:lol:



:lol: :lol: I like :P
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Postby Git » Tue Aug 21, 2007 8:29 pm

Can these be as rude and offensive as I like? I've read some pretty nasty ones before. :p
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Postby Trina » Tue Aug 21, 2007 8:33 pm

Yep :)
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Postby absolutely_fabregas » Tue Aug 21, 2007 8:45 pm

what do u call an ethiopian family portrait?



































a barcode
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Postby REG » Wed Aug 22, 2007 1:26 pm

Two oranges walk into a pub and one says to the other













"you're round"
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Postby absolutely_fabregas » Wed Aug 22, 2007 4:44 pm

lol i literally typed that one out last night reg, but didnt post it as i thought it was to bad :lol:
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Postby REG » Wed Aug 22, 2007 10:49 pm

I think it's a classic lol
I like simple jokes though & was told this one ages ago over West Ham which i laughed for about 5 mins lol
I just guess i like to laugh lol
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The Italian Job

Postby SE13 » Sat Sep 08, 2007 2:44 pm

An Italian walked into a bank in London and asked for the loan officer He told the loan officer that he was going to Italy on business for two weeks and needed to borrow £5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Italian handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Italian produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologised for having to charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Italian for using a £250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a £5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Italian returned, repaid the £5,000 and the interest of £23.07.

The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000 at 12% for only two weeks

The Italian replied: "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
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Postby Trina » Tue Sep 11, 2007 7:23 am

:lol: :lol:

Haven't heard that one before :P
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Postby CLS » Tue Sep 11, 2007 8:06 am

brilliant
http://www.myspace.com/screema69

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"IVE CHANGED MY SIG BUT IN CASE LRL FORGETS I AM
PREDICTION LEAGUE WINNER 2006
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CAPTION COMP WINNER 2007 "
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Postby REG » Tue Sep 11, 2007 8:18 am

Excellent
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