The random joke thread

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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Özilfan » Sat Jan 27, 2018 1:59 pm

Pudpop wrote:
Sims wrote:studying at uni is overrated imo

doing a worthwhile degree is underrated imo


Spot on. I usually find those criticising University are stable geniuses who, being unable to get into a good University themselves, try and devalue studying in order to improve their fragile sense of worth.
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Phil71 » Tue Apr 10, 2018 1:57 pm

Bloke goes in the butchers and says, "Have you got a sheep's head?"

"No," says the butcher, "It's just the way I do my hair."
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Phil71 » Mon Nov 19, 2018 1:06 pm

Stevie Wonder is playing an intimate gig in a small Tokyo club, and toward the end he asks if anyone has any requests. A Japanese man at the front calls out, "Play a jazz chord."

"OK," says Stevie, and knocks out a bit of jazz on the piano.

When he's finished, the man shouts out, "No, no, you Stevie Wonder, you play a jazz chord."

Thinking the man wants more, Stevie goes again with a jazz riff. At the end the man seems more irate. "NO NO NO," says the man, "You Stevie Wonder, you play a jazz chord, A JAZZ CHORD."

Stevie is a bit taken aback by the man's exasperation, and says, "Sir, why don't you come up and sing while I play."

The delighted man climbs onto the stage and takes the mic from Stevie. He clears his throat, and sings, " A jazz chord, to say, I love you..."
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Phil71 » Fri Dec 21, 2018 8:45 am

Murphy goes to visit Paddy in hospital, and finds him wrapped from head to toe in bandages.

"Jesus Paddy, what happened ya?"

"Ah ''It was awful..., I was walking minding my own business, when a truck came onto the pavement and knocked me through a big glass window."

"Sure that's terrible.... it's lucky you were wearing all those bandages, or ye'd have been cut to ribbons."
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