Ever shit yourself before?

Make the forum laugh here. Please keep it clean.Post any good online games

Re: Ever shit yourself before?

Postby LMAO » Wed Jun 27, 2018 5:54 am

TL;DR: My sneeze almost betrayed me today.

I was sitting down at one of my friend's places shooting the shit after the workday and had to sneeze. I didn't think anything of it—we all sneeze, after all. So, I let out what I thought would be an innocent achoo, but to my dismay, a seismic event erupted in my lower orifice. The vibrations from my sneeze reverberated through my head, drowning out the noise from my fart, but I imagine it was rather high on the decibel scale, judging from my friend's reaction. Worst of all was the searing pain that shot down through my poop chute! It was as if I had ended up in a hellish dungeon, and my torturer relished in using a jackhammer on my anus.

Hastily, I excused myself to his bathroom to survey the damage, and luckily, I avoided chagrin since my fart was just gas! However, I may not be so lucky next time and may have to relinquish my record of having never shit on myself since infancy.

Wise words to live by: Never trust a sneeze.
Image
User avatar
LMAO
David Rocastle
David Rocastle
 
Posts: 5612
Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:53 pm

Re: Ever shit yourself before?

Postby UFGN » Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:57 am

LMAO wrote:TL;DR: My sneeze almost betrayed me today.

I was sitting down at one of my friend's places shooting the shit after the workday and had to sneeze. I didn't think anything of it—we all sneeze, after all. So, I let out what I thought would be an innocent achoo, but to my dismay, a seismic event erupted in my lower orifice. The vibrations from my sneeze reverberated through my head, drowning out the noise from my fart, but I imagine it was rather high on the decibel scale, judging from my friend's reaction. Worst of all was the searing pain that shot down through my poop chute! It was as if I had ended up in a hellish dungeon, and my torturer relished in using a jackhammer on my anus.

Hastily, I excused myself to his bathroom to survey the damage, and luckily, I avoided chagrin since my fart was just gas! However, I may not be so lucky next time and may have to relinquish my record of having never shit on myself since infancy.

Wise words to live by: Never trust a sneeze.


Ah, a Snart

A rare but devastating natural phenomenon
Oh he is awful..... but I like him!
User avatar
UFGN
Member of the Year 2014
Member of the Year 2014
 
Posts: 16275
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:46 pm
Location: London, init

Re: Ever shit yourself before?

Postby Losmeister » Thu Jun 28, 2018 2:32 pm

what is this? lmfao :rofll: :rofll:

the Goonersworld scatalogogical prose competition?

clowns. :clap: :1970_two_smileys_drinking_beer_together.gif:
Image
User avatar
Losmeister
Dennis Bergkamp
Dennis Bergkamp
 
Posts: 6439
Joined: Mon Dec 22, 2014 7:16 am
Location: Cotati, California, USA

Previous

Return to Funny Stuff and Games

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest