The random joke thread

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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Luzh 22 » Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:28 pm

Why has Santa got such a big sack?

Because he only cums once a year.
"O Striker, Striker, why are you Striker?" - Arsene Nose 12/07/16
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby srd1886 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:53 pm

Just been into subway and asked for the most expensive sub, but apparently they don't stock the Radamel Falcao.
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Nuggets » Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:44 am

Image


:1990_dancing.gif:
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Trina » Thu Nov 26, 2015 4:15 pm

IT’S the FA Cup Final, and as a man sits down for kick-off he notices the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbour.

“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the FA Cup Final and not use it?”

The neighbour says: “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first FA Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible,” says the first fan. “But couldn’t you find someone else — a friend or relative or even a neighbour — to take the seat?”

“No,” says the man shaking his head, “They’re all at the funeral.”


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/fe ... ageandlink
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Dubs4Sam » Thu Nov 26, 2015 4:33 pm

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs and rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because when I am buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Nuggets » Mon Apr 10, 2017 8:51 am

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:rofll: :clap:
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Pudpop » Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:22 am

40 hour work week sounds like a dream
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Schlandi » Tue Apr 11, 2017 2:49 pm

Pudpop wrote:40 hour work week sounds like a dream

??? how many hours do you work a week ?
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#GoonersWorldExcuses
- Their goalkeerper had the game of his life
- We should have had 10+ penalties .. shit ref
- If long term injured player xyz would have been available we would have won easily
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Pudpop » Tue Apr 11, 2017 7:10 pm

SchlandGooner wrote:
Pudpop wrote:40 hour work week sounds like a dream

??? how many hours do you work a week ?

I'm at uni

60 hours of lectures + studying is a normal week
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby UFGN » Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:01 pm

Pudpop wrote:
SchlandGooner wrote:
Pudpop wrote:40 hour work week sounds like a dream

??? how many hours do you work a week ?

I'm at uni

60 hours of lectures + studying is a normal week


Bollox! Nobody does 60 hours a week at uni unless they're studying medicine
Oh he is awful..... but I like him!
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Va-Va-Voom » Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:16 pm

Think the 60 hours includes both time at uni and studying.
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby LMAO » Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:16 pm

UFGN wrote:
Pudpop wrote:
SchlandGooner wrote:
Pudpop wrote:40 hour work week sounds like a dream

??? how many hours do you work a week ?

I'm at uni

60 hours of lectures + studying is a normal week


Bollox! Nobody does 60 hours a week at uni unless they're studying medicine


Some people live in the library before/after class.
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Sims » Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:17 pm

studying at uni is overrated imo
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Pudpop » Wed Apr 12, 2017 1:54 pm

Va-Va-Voom wrote:Think the 60 hours includes both time at uni and studying.

Yep
Sims wrote:studying at uni is overrated imo

doing a worthwhile degree is underrated imo
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Re: The random joke thread

Postby Tony_Adams » Wed Apr 12, 2017 2:03 pm

Sims wrote:studying at uni is overrated imo


Who goes to Uni to study? :party: :beer:
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