Black Friday weekend

[Propa_Nutcase]

Had a great weekend out myself.

Turned up at Asda at 11:58pm straight out the boozer, drove straight down to the front of the shop doors and got out leaving the boot open and engine running, even left the top down on the convertible to fit more things in.

By the time i got there the queues were in the hundreds, i walked straight to the front knocking through all the kids and older women that were standing in the way.

Shortly after the barriers were open, everyone rushed to the things they wanted like in the video clips, I just walked up taking stock of what items I wanted and which shelves they were on. By the time I got to the aisles these chavs were already scrapping over the last of the tvs, I picked one up under the armpits and threw him into the refrigerated section sprawling amongst the milk and butter. I told the other to hand over the tv if he wanted to keep his teeth, and he duly obliged by dropping it between my feet and apologising

Taking the tv I went over to see about the tablets, a batch of samsung galaxys were about to be dropped by one of the customer service staff. all the black friday shoppers were waiting in anticipation, waiting with their tongues out like a pack of hyenas. 'i'm not taking the chance' i thought. I approached over the woman's shoulder and took all the tablets out of her hands, flicking through the colours i wanted and just thinking how much i could sell them for. i momentarily paused to check the crowds faces to see if there were any objections to my behaviour, but this was just met with an awkward silence. over my shoulder i noticed the lad was still wedged in the milk, struggling to wriggle his arse out the bottom of the fridge

With a 55 incher in one hand and 8 samsung galaxy tablets in the other, i had little room for any more christmas gadgets. I saw an ipod on the side on my way and managed to fit it in under my chin. Noticing the security guard was distracted i made my way for the exit, however I must have caught the side of his eye as he frantically gave chase. Taking hold of my shoulder litterally 6 feet from the doors he flipped me around to face him. I instinctively knew it was going to be this prick, the bald headed security guard who thought he was hard probably because he did a weekly martial arts session session or something. In fact he reminded my a lot of people on here all round Remembering how much i hated that c***, i channelled my anger with one singular powerful headbutt to the bridge of his nose, careful not to drop the ipod tucked under my chin, and dropping him in a oner. With bloody splattered over my face and clothes, the securty guard writhing on the floor in agony, the other shoppers continued their business distracted by the cheap toasters and bread makers that had just been dropped.

i made my way successfully through the exits to drop it all in the back of my car, closed the boot and drove home with a newcastle brown ale in one hand and a spliff in the other

the moral of the story is i now have 8 samsung galaxy tablets available in all colours, PM me with offers please NO TIMEWASTERS

[Cripps]

Racist

[dolan]

Did you at least ask him beforehand if he wanted to have a straightener?

[AFC10]

This is absolute GOLD! You are a god Nutcase.

[Sims]

Topic of the year imo

[Zedie]

Posting in legendary thread

[JordanTheGunner]

You do make me chuckle Propa

But in all seriousness I got a 32inch HD for £89

[AFC10]

Read this again on my break at work. It's that good.

Nutcase for prime minister

[Dubs4Sam]

Congrads Proper you just won Poster of the Month for November with one single post. If you manage to supply any CCTV or onlooker video footage you can have Poster of the Year in my humble opinion.

[Santi]

This is better, at least make a story and some fun out of it

[Va-Va-Voom]

Funniest post I've ever read on here to be honest.

i momentarily paused to check the crowds faces to see if there were any objections to my behaviour, but this was just met with an awkward silence.

That is pure gold.

[RowdyRoddyPoppins]

Only just read this sh*t, I hate the guy but f*ck me this is some funny shit!

[Callum]

How have I not seen this yet?

Thread of the year.

[Big17]

Coming up to two years.

Never forget.

[Va-Va-Voom]

Fresh tears.

Almost as good as him jumping the bridge.