UFGN wrote:.. But i'll save that for another thread. I think good vomming stories are a specialist subject of their own. Theres another one thats so grim i still gag when i think about it, 12 years later. It happened on a night bus.....
Here it is.....
Travelling home from a night out on a night bus, now 15 years ago, I was both witness to, and victim of, an event which I will be scarred by until the day I die.
About halfway through the hour long ride home, about 3am. The bus was about half full and I was sitting halfway down the top deck. There was a young Eastern European man, obviously extremely drunk, passed out and sitting slumped in the front seat.
He woke up from his stupor, leant over to his side, and threw up all over the floor, his seat, and the front panel under the window. On and on and on it went. At least five heaves. It was gruesome.
The people sitting nearest to him scattered like frightened rabbits, most of them down the stairs to avoid the river of puke, and by now, also the smell, which had ripped through the upper deck like a wildfire.
To make matters worse, the bus then started to climb a hill, causing the newly formed river to flow further down the gangway. Meanwhile, the man himself, having completed his one man Niagra Falls, promptly sat back down in his own puke and went back to sleep.
Now I had a dilemma. Night buses are few and far between, and it was very cold. I could flee, or I could sit it out and get home sooner, hoping the bus driver didn't take the bus out of service. I was still deciding what to do, when my mind was abruptly made up for me.
Vomit man stirred again from his slumber. He stood up, then sat back down again..........
Then he shat himself.
There was no mistaking that this had occurred. If the smell of the vomit had been like a wildfire, this was a herd of galloping wilderbeast tearing through the soul of every man left on that upper deck. As one, everyone abandoned ship, rushing for the stairs while trying to avoid the huge puddle of sick near the top. I had my face buried in my jumper as I bolted down the stairs. The bloke behind me was unsuccessful in his attempt to avoid the puke and slipped, falling down the stairs and taking out another bloke as he fell.
By this point the bus had stopped and someone had pushed the door button. I burst onto the pavement, in a scene that I can only imagine must have resembled Tim Robbins in Shoreshank Redemption, when he crawls through the sewer to freedom and escapes by jumping into the river.
I joined about three others in coughing by own guts up at the side of the road. None of us resented the wait for the next bus. It was just good to be free and breathing fresh air.
.......now, this story actually has a sequel. But thats quite enough for now!
