With William ’Wanker’ Gallas’ public outburst of must love me’s over shadowing the build up to what on paper looked to be a decent game. Both teams have an abundance of talent upfront, Adebayor, Van Persie, Nasri, Robinho, the ever impressive Stephen Ireland and Nicky Bendtner (how did that get in there??). And with both defences leaking more goals than an incontinent Nan at a free bar sponsored by Gordon‘s Gin, clearly there was some goals in it. Injuries to Walcott, Toure, Sanga and Adebayor keeping them out, suspension keeping Fabregas out and with a bad case of imacuntitis William Gallas was left behind in London and hopefully pissed off back to France.
Arsenal lined up with the ever present Almunia in goals who was handed the captains armband for today. Wether he gets it on a permanent basis is another kettle of fish and yes I think that saying is weird and I do picture little fishes poking out the top of a kettle when someone says it. Clichy took up his usual left back slot who was accompanied by Silverstre, Djourou and premier league debutant Gavin Hoyte. Now as much as Hoyte has impressed in Carling Cup games and so on I do not think today was the day for the lad to be handed his first start. In the middle we had Denilson, Song, Diaby and Nasri. Up front Van Persie returned to the team after suspension to partner *groan* Bendtner.
***BREAKING NEWS*** News has reached us here at GW that Gallas was arrested this morning on suspicion of murdering Jesus H Christ.
To say it was a confident start by Arsenal was a bit like saying William Gallas is a great lad, not only is it not true it’s so far from the truth that even Pinocchio would be calling you big nose. Nerves, nerves and more bloody nerves made for a terrible first half of football. I felt like I was at the Boro - Bolton game until I realised that Bolton were 2-0 up in the first ten minutes which made me wish I was there.
***BREAKING NEWS*** While confessing to the murder of Jesus Christ Gallas has also admitted that he killed Kenny!
Joe Hart had recovered from an ankle injury he sustained last week and I was cursing him for making it after he pushed Nasri’s shot away. His inability to hold the ball almost gave us the opener when Bendtner cut it back to Song who remarkably managed to pull his shot wide when it looked easier to score.
City had a glorious chance when Benjani sent his header wide from a Wright-Phillips cross. Warning shot.
The opener finally came, but to the wrong side. Not since Russell Brand and Johnny Ross’ infamous phone call had we seen something spontaneously combust so badly. Gallas, you wanker, I blame you for this goal! Just before half time a bursting run from Ireland saw him robbed of the ball by Clichy who sliced his clearance and it landed straight at the feet of Ireland. The bald Irish man wasted no time in punishing another defensive error of ours and he clipped the ball over Almunia to make it 1-0 City. Terrible time to loose a goal.
***BREAKING NEWS*** In addition to killing Kenny and murdering Jesus evil William Gallas has declared the he did indeed play accomplice to Bob Marley and shot the sheriff AND the deputy!
After the restart Arsenal looked to be somewhat rejuvenated, probably the fact they heard Bolton were 2-0 up gave them some sort of impetus. Diaby had a mazy run but his shot ended up wide of the mark.
What seemed like minutes after The Pers sent yet another free kick of his wide City doubled their lead. Glorious goal from Robinho, who has clearly been watching Carlos Vela in the Cup, ripped the absolute piss out of Almunia for the third. Wright-Phillips laid the ball on a plate for him and all that was left for the former Madridsta was to lob it over Manuel, which he did. Gallas’ fault though.
***BREAKING NEWS*** In addition to confessing to multiple murders the most vile of confessions has came from William Gallas. He has admitted that it was in actual fact him that started the fire! For years he proclaimed it was always burning but he has admitted that he actually started it. Scum.
Bendtner again didn’t finish when it mattered, it’s his girlfriend I feel sorry for. With a glorious opportunity to half City’s lead our Nicky f***ked it up again. His shot was weak, poor and overall shit which summed up our performance basically. Again I blame Gallas.
It was Gallas’ fault that we had a goal chopped off…actually it was Van Persie’s. Robin stop being a wanker son, after the other weeks stupid sending off you don’t need to be knocking the ball out the keepers hands like that. Start improving your game and you won’t need to.
City, like a bird who does her Christmas shopping early then wrapped up all three points (as if they hadn’t already) when Djourou gifted them a penalty. Clumsy tackle and again shows why we are calling out for a commanding center half who doesn’t like to shoot off like a trigger happy goth who got bullied at school. Sturridge rocketed the ball home and I rocketed out of Eastlands and back to London.
Piss poor performance and yes we had a lot of players injured but what I saw today wasn’t a lack of skill or personnel it was lack of heart, fight and determination. Sad face.
***BREAKING NEWS*** Gallas is a ****.
Reinvestment before Renewal.