Former Arsenal shareholder and now very rich man, David Dein, today revealed that Arsene Wenger’s decision to sign a new contract was entirely down to him.
“For months now I’ve been pleading and begging Arsene to sign a new deal. He would say to me ‘But David, I feel like I should walk away from everything I’ve built at the club, leave the young players in the lurch, f**k over the new signings and go somewhere like Real Madrid where the President buys the players then sacks the manager when he wins the league’.
It took all of my powers of persuasion, and they are considerable let me tell you, to change his mind. I told him that I’d buy him a new Scalextric if he signed but he refused. When I offered him a Segway and one of those big air hockey tables you see in arcades he was nearly convinced, but it wasn’t until I told him that I, David Dein, would personally lend him my state of the art sunbed that he finally acquiesced.
Arsenal fans can now rest easy in the knowledge that thanks to me, David Bartholomew Dein, Arsene Wenger will remain at the club until 2011.
It’s a great day for the club even if that old goat Hill-Wood stole my thunder by making it look like the current board had anything at all to do with Arsene signing a new contract. However, I’m not one for the limelight. I, David Dein, am simply content to stay in the background and bask in the glory of getting Arsene to sign a new deal while others take all the credit. Now, where did I leave that £75m?”
Chris is Cool